Boredom

Yes, It's true. I'm bored. I sit at work every other Saturday for 9.67 hours (actually this Saturday it was 10.03 hours). Just sitting there. And then sometimes, if I'm "lucky" the phone will ring. And then, I sit there. And sit there.

What else am I supposed to do but compose a blog?

Don't get me wrong, I'm super grateful that I have a job to sit at. So many people can't even find one part time job, while I am blessed with two part time jobs.

But sometimes, I get bored.

It's kinda dangerous when I'm bored because:

1- I get really random.

2- I start thinking of perilous, spontaneous stuff to make life exciting.

3- I stare at people.

4- I start singing songs in my head.

5- I start to talk to myself- in my head...... mostly.

6- I ponder the meaning of life.

7- I wish I had puppy chow.

8- I dream about a future house and dog.

9- I write really weird blog posts and facebook status'.

10- I do all this at once- I can multitask. *nods*

Can you keep a secret? Don't tell my sister, Jenni, that I'm bored. I was having an innocent conversation with her a while back and she said, kinda out of the blue, that she was praying for something unexpected to happen to me. To shake my world up. To take me out of my comfort zone. Something not in my plans.

If I tell her I get bored.... well, that will just put more scary thoughts into her over imaginative little mind.

Last year, God taught me a lot about planning. It was clear that not everything I planned for is really what is best for me. I made plans and thought that I had everything figured out. I thought that I was walking hand in hand with God and realized that I was pulling God along down my own path. I learned that sometimes I have to just follow God and not plan the next 10 steps ahead. That's kinda scary.

I thought I was doing great trusting God to lead me.

And then I realized that I was looking through binoculars for a cliff ahead, afraid of where He was going to lead me. And I started planning again. (I should be using present tense verbs, cause I'm still planning and still looking.)

(Are you still awake?? I know, I know, I haven't put in one picture yet. Take a deep breath and a long swig of coffee. Stay with me.)

Not that all planning is bad. I don't think I'll stop planning. I have my life planned for about the next two years. (And yes, they are kinda boring plans.) But what will change is my need for those plans to stay the same. To be able to change them. To be willing to plan things that are not in my comfort zone.

It's not going to change right away. Life isn't made up of one time commitments to God. One day, surrendering one thing and *bam* it's done and gone. Then the next week it's another thing.

It kinda builds on itself. You constantly give that thing to God every day. And soon, there's another thing that's kinda the same thing but completely different at the same time that you give to Him every day. And soon, your prayers aren't the 5 minute rush, praying for others, thanking Him for a good day. They go deeper, they mean more.

Am I making sense? (I told you it was scary when I'm bored.)

And so, what else is there to say? Sometimes boredom gets you thinking about your life and what you're learning.

But as this has been a rather random and kind of heavy post (at least for me), as your reward for staying awake, I'll leave you with some completely randomly chosen photos. Photos that make me happy. Photos that make me wish I wasn't stuck inside for 9.67 or 10.03 hours. Photos that make me miss my "baby".

(Apparently, everything dear to me becomes named "baby". My car, my camera, my nieces and nephew, my small carefully planted (and without my mother, sometimes neglected) wildflowers in summer, my bed..... okay so maybe I don't call my bed my baby. I should name my camera to cut down the confusion. Any ideas?)

Enjoy the randomness.

Still bored,

Ti-Ti