What's the Big Deal?

I am a firm believer that Valentine’s Day can be for singles too.

Yep, you read that right. Singles. People with no “luvah’s.” People who order take out for one. People who don’t share a bank account. People who rarely have to ask someone else’s opinion on what movie to watch. People who let their dog lick their cheek cause no one else will kiss it. People who bring fellow single friends to work holiday parties. People who live in other’s basements. People who the only person they hold hands with are under 4 feet tall and also call you aunt. People who text their mother more than any other person in their contact list. People that sing love songs to their dog. People that car dance because they most often ride in their car alone. People who go to the library every Thursday to hang out in a corner by themselves. People that don't have to share the bag of popcorn. People that don't have to worry about annoying someone with the alarm going off 7 times of a morning. People that don't share a facebook account.

You see, growing up, valentine’s was never a holiday just for my parents or just a holiday for couples. It was a huge family event. Sure, my parents celebrated their couple status in various ways that day, cheesy cards, special gifts, dinners out. But usually if it was dinner out it wouldn’t actually be on Valentine’s Day. Honestly, I don’t really remember much more “celebration” that they as a couple had more than us. It wasn’t as though it was this big thing for just mom and dad to share their love for one another. It was a big day for all of us to show our love for each other. Don’t get me wrong. My parents are super expressive of their love for each other (gag). It wasn’t as though they weren’t happy to be a couple, but they made it more than just love towards the significant other and more of love towards family and friends. It was like second Christmas, but bigger. (And maybe my memory is just remembering it the way I want to, but this is honestly what I remember.)

Okay so maybe I’ve made a big deal about Valentine’s Day. Maybe I’m super weird for it being my favorite holiday. (Okay so that one isn’t a maybe, it’s a for sure thing.) Maybe my parents never anticipated that their unique celebration of a commercialized holiday would turn their youngest into a passionate fanatic. Maybe it’s been my soapbox for so long that the stepping down seems nearly impossible.

Does it sometime hurt because I don’t have “that special one” that I can share this holiday with? Honestly, yeah. It does. Sometimes more than I let on. Does it bother me that so much of that cute stuff for Valentine’s Day is aimed at people with a “luvah?” You bet it does. Does it sink my heart when so many of the special deals you find around this time are only for two people? Like a rock. Do I feel a prick when all the couples decide that because of the holiday, it's okay to have PDA around me? Maybe more than a prick.

But you see, I am a firm believer that Valentine’s Day can be for singles too.

I refuse to let them win. I refuse to wear black. I refuse to be talked off this soap box.

So personality quizzes have been going around rampant lately. One quiz said that while my character type loves deeply, we don't often talk of it. But we think our actions and gifts speak louder than actually saying the words. So maybe that's why I love this holiday so much. I get to give gifts to people I love and I don't have to go all emotional on them. Maybe it gives me an excuse to go all out for those people I love. Maybe it feels like it means more because it's not your normal holiday to give gifts and celebrate family and friends. Especially this year, I'm feel more emotional myself so it's rubbing off on this holiday. I feel like Oprah. "Aw, I love you, so here! You get a new car! And you! I'll pay your entire mortgage!! Here's a college fund for all 7 of your children!!!"
The same quiz also said that I was deeply rooted in tradition. So maybe it's also a traditional thing for me and I can't give it up because, well it's tradition.
I also hate to be defined by being single. I'd rather be defined by being a "nanny" than being a "single nanny." Maybe it's all the preconceived notions and stereo-types that come along with the title "single" that I hate, but whatever the case, I never want to introduce myself as, "Hey, I'm Tiffany and I'm single." [Rabbit trail: Don't get me wrong, singleness is a part of who I am and it does change my viewpoint. I just don't like that it defines me. Like my character, my like and dislikes, my passions, my interests have nothing to do with it because you already know all about me because I'm single. I am more than a title.] And I loath how the valentine holiday brings out the worst in "singles" and I refuse to fall into that camp for even a second.

Maybe that's why it's a big deal to me.

Listen, I get it. I’m super weird in my affinity for this holiday. I don’t even think my family understands my obsession. I don’t even think even I understand my obsession. Maybe I’m clinging desperately to an idea that needs to be let go. But honestly, it makes me feel like a kid at Christmas. Can I keep that feeling? Just for one more year? Can I keep it forever? Do I have to grow out of it?

If you are out there and single, I think I’ve firmly stated that I’m here for you. I’ll share my favorite holiday with you, in all it’s weirdness.You can hang with my equally weird family and not worry about being "single." I’ll buy you the token box of chocolates and eat them with you while watching a chick flick. I’ll hug you when it gets too much and you need to cry. I’ll share my compassionate puppy who gives great sympathy hugs too.
If you are out there and not single, but hate this holiday, I’m here for you too. I’ll help you plan that fun and romantic time. I’ll watch your kids. I’ll be your chauffer. I’ll even offer any little cooking skills I have if needed.

Just, please, don’t try and tell me how weird I am. Don't tell me the tooth fairy and leprechauns aren't real. Don’t mock my tradition of wearing valentine colors for a week before the day. Don’t bash my holiday. Don’t disillusion me and pull me off my soap box.

So I’m weird. I’m obsessive. I’m passionate. I’m clingy to a desperate degree.
This is my soap box and I’m staying up here.

Love,

Ti-Ti

Valentine Verbalization

It is usually around this time of year that I log in to my blog (a.k.a. soapbox) and tell singles to stop feeling sorry for themselves. To get out and live the life that God has given you. While I am still firmly planted on that soapbox, this year, I’m not only going to be talking to singles. This time, my tirade is aimed at everyone. I’ve been noticing a trend on social media. This trend doesn’t just included single girls or guys. No, I have seen it suck in long time married couples, newlyweds, and even dating couples. This trend happens to be the bashing of one of my favorite holidays, Valentine’s Day.

 I've heard a lot of excuses for why people hate Valentine’s Day. We’ll start with the biggest one.

“It’s too commercialized.”

Welcome to ‘Merica (yes, I just said ‘Merica), where we take everything we can possible earn a buck on and use it to our full advantage.  Honestly, Christmas is SO MUCH more commercialized, but if someone says they hate Christmas, we call them Scrooge, a bah-humbug, a Grinch. Honestly, you should have a much bigger problem with Christmas being commercialized than Valentine’s Day.  Sure, I’ve heard people comment that Christmas is commercialized. But do they still buy gifts for each other? Do they still set up a tree and put hundreds of sparkling lights up? Do they still spend hours baking all those special goodies that we are told we need for Christmas? You bet they do. Commercialism? Sure. But a good excuse to hate Valentine’s Day? Lame Sauce.

“I can say ‘I love you’ any time of the year. I don’t need a special day for it.”

I sure hope you do say I love you to the people in your life on a regular basis. Don’t ever take for granted the people God has placed in your life. But on the other hand, do you need a special day to be thankful? Do you need a special day to remember Jesus came as a baby to save us? Do you need a special day to remember the freedoms you’ve been given in this country? Do you need a special day to praise God for his resurrection and paying the ultimate price for us? Just as these holidays are set aside to turn our attention and focus on a “special event”, so is Valentine’s Day a day set aside to tell everyone you love how much they mean to you.

“There’s way too much pink and glitter.”

Say WHAT?!? Oh, you are talking to the wrong girl about that one! If I could wear pink, and glitter, and hearts every day of the year, I would be one happy cookie. You can NEVER have too much pink! Or too much glitter? CERTAINLY NOT. Okay, so not everyone shares my affinity for pink and sparkles. I guess I can forgive you for that. But I don’t hate on your favorite color, yellow, because I can’t wear it. I don’t make a face every time you mention that orange is the new black. I don’t laugh when you say you just can’t get enough of the color brown. So don’t hate on my sparkles or pink.

“It just feels fake.”

Listen, I’m not sure that is the holiday's fault there. That one solely rests on your shoulders, my friend. Anything can become “fake” if you want to have that attitude. Guess, what? I’ve been to my fair share of “fake” Christmas gatherings. I’ve never felt more “fake” than at the Halloween party- I mean “harvest party.” (cough, cough) Okay, so you meant “fake” as in being not genuine, not from the heart, instead of “fake” - not being yourself. Listen to that definition- sounds like it starts with you. If your heart is fake, so will the holiday, so will the birthday, so will everyday.

“It’s the loneliest day of the entire year.”

Alright, so this one is more from singles. Or perhaps your significant other is away right now. Hey, I know this awesome person that loves the holiday and would love to do nothing more that sprinkle a bit of glitter into your day. She’s always a text away if you simply need a hug. She also loves to give gifts and might just show up with a box of chocolates and teddy bear if the need arises. Now, if you live out of state, you might just have to be happy with a package, or if you’re really desperate, you could always buy her a plane ticket…

“Cupid. I mean, a fat, naked baby that shoots people with “love” arrows? Awkward.”

Yeah, I’ll give you that one. It’s pretty weird. But hey, a jolly, fat, old guy with a long, white beard that comes down your chimney in the middle of the night? You’ve got to admit that Valentine’s Day isn’t the only holiday with a creepy “character” associated with it.

So, you all have, in essence, been reading my diary posts for a while now. I hope you know that I’m strongly for singles getting out and living life. I also hope you know that my stance on any of this does NOT mean that I am an” independent female that does NOT need a silly man in my life to complete it.” I’m not a bitter single. I’m not conforming valentine’s day to fit my single needs. I’m not secretly smirking at all you couples that are “drinking the poison” and getting married. Hey, I love love. (And I can even photograph that upcoming wedding or engagement portraits for you and make you kiss a bunch.) The grass is not “greener” on the other side. Wherever you are, be all there.

[P.S. Just because I can’t leave this alone and must at least make mention of it somehow… Singles, there ain’t no more tissues and boxes of chocolates to gorge on while watching a chick-flick and complaining about your status in life. Get up. Get out. Wake up and smell the coffee. Go. Fight! Win! And call me when you get back, darling. I enjoy our visits….]

So stop bashing and start loving.

Proudly wearing pink,
Ti-Ti

Greener Grass? or Polar Prospectives?

Purity Rings....

Maybe it was a homeschooler thing. Maybe it was an "Independent Fundamental Baptist" thing. Maybe it was just the hip "Christian" thing to do. When I turned 16, my parents gave me a purity ring. They never told me what finger to put it on. And they may not have even called it a purity ring. Maybe they just called it a promise ring (More like a "promise to God" ring.) Maybe they just gave us rings when we turned 16 cause it was cool and pretty.... (knowing my parents, though, there was a deeper reason than that....)

I honestly have to use both my hands, take off my shoes, and use my neighbors fingers as well to count the number of times I've been asked how long I've been married, if I just got engaged, or any other combination of those two. I answer honestly, but every time I answer it seems to somewhat scare people away..... as though they feel awkward for assuming that or maybe pity for me...

There was a blog floating around recently about a girl who took off her purity ring. She decided that it was making her wait to live her life. She was pursuing a relationship with Christ only so she would get a guy in the end. (not really where I am but a good read, nonetheless, Gracefortheroad- "I Don't Wait Anymore.")
Being as shy as I am, I tend to do things that help me blend in. Often, I've thought of taking my ring off, or maybe try wearing it on a different finger to avoid the conversation.  And sometimes, laugh at me if you will, I've thought that on occasion it has scared several "potentials" away. (Oh, the joys of being a nanny with a ring on. But at least the kids are cute so I take it as a compliment when people think they're mine... "Ma'am, you make beautiful babies." HA!!!) But my reasons for possibly taking it off were nothing similar to what this girl decided.

Last Sunday, we talked about being single and marriage (and a bit of other stuff too). The point that spoke the most to me was the encouragement and discipleship that needs to go both ways- from singles to marrieds, from marrieds to singles. Both of them have their own struggles and insights into life and neither "side" has the "greener grass."
{P.S. free advertisement here- if you want to hear the message -or any of the other messages from my awesome pastor -(yes, he's my brother, no I'm not biased) go here- highplains.org- sermons (this message is "the Gifted- Part 22)}

So here's my thought. Let's understand each other a bit better by getting both sides of this story. Married peoples, what are your thoughts about "purity rings" and singles what do you think about them?

Before you give your insight, let me shed a bit of light on how I view my purity ring. (And honestly, I'm probably not going to take mine off anytime soon, if ever- even if it does produce some awkward times for me. Partly because you'd have to be very convincing toward why I should because I've inherited both my parents stubbornness, partly because it doesn't fit on any other finger, and partly because my finger would look deformed because I've been wearing it so long.) (Whoa, totally felt like Tevye from Fiddler On the Roof there, "on one hand... on the other hand.... on the other hand...") I don't believe this ring is causing me to "wait" to live my life. I've always been a firm believer of living where you are. Like Mike said in the sermon, "wherever you are in life, be all there." (or something similar to that) I don't even really view it as a reminder to avoid "temptation". My view on the purity ring is more broad I guess. Sort of a promise, no that's not the right word, a.... commitment...a.... striving....to put God above my own selfish desires, no matter what those desires are. It's there to remind me that I'm not here for me and me only.

Does that even make sense? Where are you on this? What are your thoughts and insights?

(P.S. it was also mentioned that we need to be open and tell others what "hurts" us in our different "relationship statuses". Here's a good read from a singles side of things convergemagazine-"26, unmarried and childless)

Getting both sides of the story,
Ti-Ti

Considerably Cute Chipper

Finally some pictures of David Lance "Chipper" Saxon, III

In case you didn't know, he was born March 17th, Saint Patrick's Day, at 6:54pm. (Which also happened to be his actual due date. Well kinda. I think he sort of had two days given, the 17th and the 18th.) He was a whopping 9 lbs. 21 inches. He ended up being born by c-section (which mommy was kinda glad when she found out how big he was), due to his heart rate dipping.

We got to see him literally minutes after he was born as they paused for like 4 seconds as they wheeled him back to the room. We heard the length pretty much right away (which I won the guess, by the way), but then we waited forever for the height and to hear how mommy was. I think they forgot about us out there in the little room. We got very used to that room while we were there. It consisted of one small round table with 3 hard chairs, two armed chairs, microwave, and most importantly a coffee machine. I soon discovered that it was much too small to pace in. At least there was Internet access.

Due to some concerns about his oxygen level, his sugar level, and a dipping heart rate, Chipper was kept in the nursery from his first night until I left. Right as I had to go back to the airport, they had decided to take him to the Milwaukee Children's Hospital. It was so hard to leave right then. Thankfully, after checking him out for a night there, it was determined that everything was good and he was cleared to go home.

I know it's been a bit since I was out in WI- but my OCD was having a battle with the graininess of these photos. He was born at night and was in the dimly light nursery the whole time. So while most of the pictures turned out pretty blurry due to the low lighting- at least you get a general idea how cute my little guy is.......and I get to go out again at the end of this month for better photos! Which makes me just a bit happy........

  

Missing my cutie,

Ti-Ti

Making Memories

Have you ever noticed how certain smells remind you of past times? I think it's the Parent Trap were she smells her grandfather to make a memory. "Years from now, when I'm all grown up, I'll always remember my grandfather and how he always smelled of........peppermint and pipe tobacco." I've come to discover that I do that without realizing it.

Like the smell of a certain hair gel reminds me of our vacation in Virgina Beach at Sandbridge. Just a few steps would take me out to the beach were the wind would blow my hair across my face.

Or, strangely enough, the smell of Ranch Doritos reminding me of when we went to the "older kids" C.A.C.S. and got all kinds of goodies like Doritos, and Oreos, and lemon drops.



 Or the smell of Goo Goo Dolls candy reminds me of the time when Jenni and I got all kids of junk at the dollar store one time for dinner. "I feel like a super model."

Or the smell of tootsie rolls remind me of how Jenni and I would cut up our tootsie rolls very small and keep them in tin so as to make them last longer.

Or the smell of cattails remind me of many hours spent at the Wishart's playing our make believe games as if our lives depended on them.

Or the smell of Carmel apples and chocolate remind me of late nights at the Aardsmas house trying to eat slices of carmel apples in effort to be cleaner .........and failing miserably.

Or the smell of red vines remind me of smokey Forth of July's sitting so close you could feel the boom in your bones.

Or the smell of moonlight path perfurme reminds me on laying my head on my mommy's lap and talking or of her hugs or her tickling me.... or really anything of my mommy. ;)

And I don't think I'll ever forget the smell of my Saabreensers face when I kiss her.

What is your memory smells? What lovely images do you think of when you come across a certain smell?

Making memories,
Ti-Ti

Closing Contemplations

Have you ever gotten the feeling like nothing has changed in the past year? That you seem to be in the exact same place as you were last year? That life is so dull? Sometimes I feel that's where I am.

Naturally my mind goes to think about all that has changed. I have not only a job, but a full time job with super nice bosses. I have short hair. I have a few more purses, shoes, and scarfs..... and that's seriously where my mind goes blank.

Perhaps it's because I had so much going on in my life last year at this time. I had just gotten a handful of a dog, albeit an adorable one. It hit me last Christmas that I was permanently planning on living with Mike and Mindy. Sounds weird but it wasn't ever really officially in my plans to move in with them long term and last Christmas when I was opening presents with them on Christmas I realized that I was here to stay a long while. (As I told Nikki the other day, she will most likely be married and have 4 children of her own before I move out. Ha!) I was unemployed for 3 months, unaware that I was going to be that way for another 6 months. I was just settling into my new church family, directing Christmas plays and semi stepping in as a church secretary of sorts. Everything seemed so unsettled during that time and it felt like everything was changing. I could never plan a week in advance, sometimes not even a day in advance.

I've never been a really good handler of change. I've always been more the homebody that likes to stay at home and watch the world change in the comfort of my jammers knowing that mine will never be like that. I mean, just read earlier posts about how frightened I was of change. Even if it was in a joking way it was totally scary to me. It's kinda humorous to me now.

Maybe it's been the excitement of my world constantly changing last year that has gotten me hungry for change. It seems like I'm constantly looking around the corner for something to change. Like I'm standing on the edge of cliff waiting to jump. After writing my last post about all the single girls and marriage talk that I'm so much more open for change there too, whatever "there" means.  I wonder if I haven't always had this thirst for change in me a bit. Considering my past job history, I've never been at a job for more than a year. Now some of that wasn't my fault, what with college, businesses selling, or downsizing. But there is part of me that doesn't always do well with the whole "do the same thing day after day."  And maybe that's just human nature. But I feel like it's really come to the surface in the past 2 months in me. I don't feel like this was my nature before or maybe I just was super good at ignoring it.


I feel so ready for something to change, it terrifies me.

Maybe this is Gods way of telling me that I've got another huge lesson coming. (Not that I'm not always learning huge lessons from Him, but last year was some pretty big ones that I don't think I'll ever get a complete hold on.) Or maybe it's just me finally getting a small grasp on His last big lesson to me.

I've always loved that verse in Ephesians where Paul is talking about being content, no matter where you were. But, I think I've taken that to mean something other than what it should- applied in my life in a way that wasn't meant to be. I think I've been content in my life so long as it stayed the same as it always has. Never changing. Never growing. Never learning. Never getting out there. And here's where I get terrified. Changing, growing, learning....well it hurts. And it's never quick. And it's never done.

So maybe after all, things *have* changed in the past year. Maybe I've changed, or rather God has changed me. And no matter how terrified I am of this openness I feel toward changing and growing, I know that I won't have to do any of it on my own. That I have the perfect Person that will give me exactly the change I need. And that makes everything so much more bearable and...well....exciting.


Leaning on Him,
Ti-Ti

Covering the Comencement and Comglomerate

So, yeah, it's been nearly a month since I've left for Virginia and yet still I haven't done the traditional flying blog, let alone my trip blog.
In my defense, may I please add that in that time I have: driven to Denver twice to hang out with Stephanie, watched children multiple times so mother and father could have a few dates, filled out 2 applications in person, 15 online, had an 35 minute interview, a 2 hour group interview, had a prayer conference, gone to 2 different libraries approximately 7 times, did laundry 3 times at the parents house, hung and ordered pics for my mother, completed yet another all-nighter (or rather a partial-nighter), edited photo's from VA for a very anxious young man and his wife, celebrated Mother's Day with the family, gone on a fishing picnic, went camping for a night, dressed up as a super villain, hung out at a garage sale, dug through somewhere between 30 to 80 very interesting old books, went Frisbee throwing at 10pm, broke my computer cord, bought a cheap cord that ended up melting things with the charging box thingy, returned the second broken cord, received a second slightly more expensive computer cord, hung out with a friend I haven't seen in months, went to DIA in pouring rain, had a ladies bible study, put out the church calendar for June, saw a partial eclipse, washed my "brown" dog twice, rebuilt approximately 24 Lego airplanes, started a part-time job for two weeks, got "fired" from the part time job after two weeks, celebrated memorial day, helped weed at my parents house for two days, got sun blisters, had an amazingly crazy 3 year old birthday party, welcomed my sister and her husband to Colorado, started the process of booking my first wedding shoot, and so much more, I'm sure.
So go easy on me.

I've decided to combine the classic "people-watching-in-an-airport-blog with my trip blog. You know, kill two subjects with one blog. You must know that I write airport bogs the moment they are happening. And I have to write them out with a pen, not electronically. Things just come better that way. I don't, however, do this for the time that I'm actually in the state I'm visiting. Otherwise they would probably be cooler.... or maybe they wouldn't... Anywho- enjoy...

FLYING TO VIRGINA:
I've got to stop doing these early morning flights out of Denver. It's one of the best airports for people watching but these early flights, one, make me way to tired to care about watching, and two, there isn't a ton of people to watch this early. I felt bad about being unsociable and facing the widow so I tried to wake myself up, by whistling. But what song came out of my mouth? Brahms Lullaby. Yep. I'm that cool. So as I was going through security they were checking everyones boarding pass, looking for something specific. That's a comforting thought, no? There isn't much to report on my flight to Midway, other than this person doing a complete bobble head. Oh, yeah, that's me. As we're landing there was a group of people talking and I hear one of the dad's pipe up referring to pacifiers falling on the ground, "With the first one you wash it off and disinfect it, with the second you lick it off, and with the third, you let the dog lick it." I feel the man speaks truth. As we're waiting to get off, all super patiently of course, there was this adorable, bald, round headed little tyke totally flirting with all the guys- raised eyebrows, grunts, coy looks and all.
It must be the time for sports teams to go traveling- I've seen no less than 11 matching tee shirt/ sweats groups pass by. And then there is this large group of college aged kids, guys dressed super nice with ties (no, not the white shirts with black ties, with a name tags pinned neatly to their pocket type of nice) and girls in skirts. I'm closish to MBBC and I so bad want to ask them the reason for the dress. I thought I was going through Saabreen withdrawal when I thought for sure I heard a collar jingle 3 times and couldn't find a dog to fit such noise. But I just heard 7 barks and I don't think humans that are barking in this said manner are allowed to stay long in airports, at least with out close supervision by men dressed in black with dark sunglasses. So I totally forgot to pack a pen in my carry on bag. You would think I would learn. You should see me covertly looking under chairs and in seat pockets for one. When I told mom I forgot a pen she asked if I had a knife so I could write in blood. Ummm....in an airport. Can someone please explain to my mommy why this would most likely not end pretty?? Ha! Just kidding. So I caved and went looking for pens in the airport. What can I say? Boredom and tiredness don't make me wise. But then I didn't feel right buying a $2 pen with a credit card so I got Pink Lemonade and yes, the pen was also pink. Dude, this dog better stop barking- He's making me want to go find him at all costs and I just know if I leave, my seat it will get stolen. It was with great trepidation that I left it to go find a pen. And yes, you better believe that I'm in the kids section watching cartoons (which are mainly super dumb and I don't even know them, except the good ol' Yogi Bear). It sounds a bit racist but I mean it in the nicest way, but you can tell that you're in IL. There's a much higher percentage of African Americans here. And they don't got that sweet southerner accent here. It's definitely like a gangsta twang, and it's oh so hard to remember that I'm from Colorado and I don't have an accent. Pity really. Do you ever kinda want to get a wheel chair, at the airport mainly, although other places might be cool? You get to go to the head of a lot of lines, and I mean, you don't have to walk and get lost. Am I right? Why is it all pilots are old? I mean I guess that means experience, right? Forgive my random musings. I'm kinda weird on no sleep. What's the proper seat manners in an airport? I mean, you give your seat to one elder person, when someone who needs it more just walks up....


VIRGINA:
Now that it's been so long since I've been there I'm not sure that I remember all of it too well. I do know it was a lot of later nights with earlier mornings. And really it was the mornings that got me, naturally, but it was worse with the 2 hour time difference. And since I don't remember the small details very well now, I will mainly tell of that time with pictures. I'm sure you will enjoy that better than my strange ramblings anywho. So here you go...

This is what happens when you try to frost cupcakes in a professional manner with frosting in a jar (except the other cupcakes that someone made the frosting for us)..... at least that's what happens when I try to do that.

Smiling away as she makes the poof balls....

Roderick made a nice little speech at the President's umm... thingy.... that ummm... we went to ummm... on Friday night.... you know before the graduation.... with only family there. What do they call that anywho?? And yes, he received an award too, but my camera was focused the lady's hair in front of me instead of Rod receiving it..whoops. It was nice hair...

 So the funny thing about this little balloon arch thing. It was so hot that the balloons kept popping but we never knew when that would happen. It was like having our own fireworks. And this table... we spent all day staging it  just right to fit everything perfectly on it. Yes, that's how my sister works.... it's kinda crazy but we love her. ;)

 Made them pause the mad panic (ha) to get a picture...
Check out these cookies. A friend from "downstairs" made them. And she made the frosting for the cupcakes (which was amazing). And I'm sure she did much more too. She was pretty cool. I mean, check out those cookies.  I have to note that the saturation on these pictures is not bumped up. The party was naturally this bright.

I have to say that this table was one of my favorite places to hang out. It was so bright and all the food on it was so awesome. It was a very photogenic table too....

 A sampling of the candy table. Every type of candy on the table was specifically chosen by Roderick, as he's kinda picky about the candy he eats. This table didn't have a chance to be "staged" as the time just ran away from us. It was quickly set up just minutes from the start of the party... But I think it was pretty cool... even if we were sweating bullets to get it out there. :)

I mean- how cool is this cupcake???

The theme was "It's So Sweet To Be Done." Laura's been planning this party for about a year- partly because that's the way she is but also to giver her something to do to help things out. No wonder it was pretty smooth and all the details were well thought out.

Yes- my very organized and detail orientated sister even thought of small toys, bubbles, and crayons (all of which matched her color scheme of course) for the small kids coming. I mean- seriously- who thinks of the tiny details like that? She's kinda cool that way.                                          

 And then the actual graduation....

 
The only proof that I was actually there. I'm a photographer- behind the photos, not in front.

 The graduate on stage...

 One of the hardest goodbyes for Laura (and probably Rod as well)....

 I will say that I was so glad to get back to the land of dry. And I was so glad that I had received an inhaler for the last cold that I got. It was seriously hard to breathe there. There was alot of errands, baking,  prep, eating, talking, decorating, sweating, playing, walking, laughing, cleaning, and even a freak intense rain storm the night before the party. But I believe all the goals were accomplished. And that pretty much sums up the Virgina part of things.

FLYING TO COLORADO:

So security is very small in Norfolk. I notice that there is a same lady with two little, cute, but a big handful boys and their grandparents are on my flight again. It's a bit harder going through security with young kids, and the littlest one, who happened to be wearing a batman shirt, started crying. One of the security guys said, "Hey man, Batman don't cry!" I wish I knew Batman that well. I mean- how else would he know that?The mom must have had at least a bit of a vacation though- she's super tan now. Ha! There's a lady talking Hunger Games on the phone beside me and I kinda want to jump in to correct some of her statements. Not that I'm a super Hunger Games nerd but I have read the books and I've got this thing when people tell things that are wrong. So I just write about it. lol. So this lady has this interesting book beside me. She keeps falling asleep so I get to read a page or two unnoticed. It's called Praying Effectively for the Lost by Lee E. Thomas. I find this a bit humours due to the fact that I'm missing part of my own church's prayer conference. It intrigues me. So I wasn't supposed to change planes this time but something was wrong at the airport and we had to switch planes. It was all okay because we got to board first and they had to hold everyone for the flight attendants anyways. But oh, let me tell you. I've regretted that plane change ever since. It was by far the worst experience flying ever. Not that there was turbulence. No, I'm all for turbulence. I wish there was more sometimes. You know, crank that epic cello music as you rock along. No, turbulence was not the cause of my distress. It was the fellow in the seat next to me. At first I reconciled his lack of understanding of personal space to a cultural difference. But after the sixth time he drank his ginger ale and rubbed his elbow up the crook of my arm I started getting seriously disturbed. And then there was this whole like hand on the armrest creeping toward my leg that made me jumpy. I was trying to be understanding as I did that whole pull-the-tray-out-and-rest-your-elbows-heavily-on-it-to-squish-his-hand move. But what really put me over was this like slow reach he was doing toward me at the very end. I don't think that was necessarily necessary. In fact I'm pretty sure it wasn't. And when he covertly looks at me out the corner of his eye (no direct eye contact was made) and then pretended indifference every time someone walked by in the isle, well, that just put me over the edge. I spent the last part of the flight sitting sideways in my seat jammed against the window pretending to read my book. At least I know what to do in a situation like that again. But let me tell you, if anything would have happened, even accidentally, that man would not have walked off that plane with a straight nose. It wasn't the greatest end to my travels.

And there you have it. My boringly, exciting trip to Virgina.

Learning martial arts,
Ti-Ti

Complaints Cancellation: I Never Would Have...

7 months and 10 days

That's how long I've been unemployed. Somehow, every month, God has given me just enough to make it through until the next month.
Good paying babysitting jobs with people I've never meet before, through a friend I haven't seen in a long time. A week of substitute work with my old job. Care package from mom saving me from having to buy necessary things for at least a month. A larger than expected tax return. Generous brother and sister-in-law assisting with occasional financial needs. Small photography jobs that have actually paid. House sitting/companion job. Earlier saved "house plan" money. Valentine's day money gift from mom and dad. And so it goes....

God has shown me just how much He loves me and takes care of, not just my big needs, but my every day small needs. Showing me that I don't have to plan the future to death. That He's the only one that holds my future. I'm SO grateful for where He put me during this time.

If I hadn't quit/ lost my jobs, I never would have been living with Mike and Mindy. I never would have been going to the best church ever. I never would have gotten my crazy, funny Saabreen- at least so soon. I never would have known the feeling of a warm dog head sleeping on my feet and pushing me off the bed. I never would have been a live in nanny for the awesomest kids ever. I never would have the spiritual growth that can only come from trusting God for every single thing in my life. I never would have the awesome quotes that can only come from living in this crazy house. I never would have had the relationship that I now have with my brother and sister-in-law. I never would have had the time for amazing dates with adorable, messy faced children. I never would have had the time for late night bowling or midnight movie showings. I would never had the time to direct a Christmas play. I never would have the maturity I've gained from planning my own life. I never would have the patience or energy to lose 20lbs. I never would have done a ladies bible study. I never would have the relationship that I have with my parents, the occasional visits only being sweeter now. I never would have been able to help  friends have a family vacation. I never would have gotten to be the occasional substitute first grade teacher. I never would have learned to be as frugal as I have to be now. I never would have gotten to meet 7 kids in Weld that are so full of energy and yet so much fun. I never would have had fun coming up with creative ways to make dinner out of not much. I never would have this addiction to lattes that I have now. I never would have been able to watch an adorable, mischievous boy learn to speak his mind. I never would have been able to watch a graceful, ADD girl learn ballet. I never would have been able to listen to a rambling, blue eyed squirt giggle uncontrollably. I never would have known how giving my sister-in-law is. I never would have respected and turned to my brother as much. I never would have learned the art of articulating during interviews. I never would have known what it means to give out of my heart rather than my abundance. I never would have giggled with my sister-in-law over silly things like buns. I never would have gotten to know an amazing church family. I never would have had fun during a church business meeting. I never would have gotten to dress up in crazy outfits to be the mascot for football. I never would have been able to go to an all day ladies conference with mom. I never would have been able to poor chocolate over grinning teenagers. I never would have 10-ish kids fondly call me Ti-Ti and not really know my real name. I never would have been able to go to CHESS and eat lunch with "my peeps." I never would have been able to sing the songs I get to sing in church. I never would have blared music and danced wildly with three dance partners. I never would have known how much germs don't really matter in the long run. I never would have known the freedom that comes from just being what God is making me and dropping my false "christian" self. I never would have been able to be a "kind of church secretary." I never would have known how much joy comes from growing closer to the Lord.

And so, even though I long to complain, that it's about time I could start planning my life again, if just my summer, that I certainly have to have money sometime soon, that life is so hard going from interview to interview, putting myself out there just to be turned down, yet one more time, that I can't live on the generosity of family any longer.............

How can I??? With that list of what I wouldn't have....... I can't. I just simply can't complain. There is way too many blessings in my life.


Honestly, this isn't where I thought this blog would go. I didn't much know what I was going to write but it certainly wasn't going to be thankfulness for where I am.

Sometimes, life hurts. Sometimes it's just way too much of a bother to struggle through to the next day. Sometimes it's just too stressful to get up and try again. And that's when God shows you all He has done, through and for me. And all you can do is praise Him in the storm, to dance with joy in the rain.
He has so much more in store for me.......

Trusting and leaning- leaning and trusting,
Ti-Ti

A Classic and Creative Conversation

You know that blog post I promised you that I was thinking about and in the process of writing.... yeah, this isn't it.....

I've been going through my "other room" at "my other home" lately (I hate trying to explain my life at interviews) and have found some very interesting stuff. I get a kick out of reading things that I wrote when I was younger... oh, say when I was only 21. (how young I was then!)

 No, but seriously, I've read some down right sassy homework projects (all done by my mother.... just kidding, mom ;)), some laughing-so-hard-I'm-crying ideas that I've read in my diary when I was 12, some really strange and weird memento's that I've kept for 14 years for some unremembered reason. But the best of all this was something I found between my sister and me.

You see, we tend to be a bit on the dramatic side and both of us adore talking to each other in accents- mostly British. This time- through e-mail or some kind of chat- we upped it to Old English Brit. I don't know who wrote what, but both were quite epic.

I leave you to enjoy this memory of mine.....

Sister 1: "Dost thou require an object with which to beguile thyself? Or happens it thus that thou hast many objects which might provide the needful entertainment, but thou peradventure hast chosen to forsake such menial pastimes to pursue the loftier enterprises at hand?"......

Sister 1 (a bit later): "What sayest thy defense, thou painted bean pole, thou infinitesimal flea of a creature? Dost thou not respond to my witty joust, or art thou afrighted by such affrontry? Speak, I say unto thee, for I am not convinced as yet, that thou has proved thyself worthy of such affluent attention."

Sister 2: "Thou are the painted bean pole, thou flea of dogs. Perchance I have pastimes but wish not to do them. As saying in my defense, peradventure these menial things may be such as to bore me even more. Thus I may require more tutoring in the event that loftier studies may elude my thus 'deprived and forsaken mind'... But no matter. I am determined to extend my pursuit to other such extensive boredom. How answerest thou, oh thou droppings of bird, to my 'joust' as thou hast so poorly and inadequately stated? Art thou laying upon the floor in uproarious joviality?"

Sister 1: "Thy rivalry is indeed very gratifying and I am adequately pleased with thy rebute. How speakest thou with such taste? Thy tutorage must have been of some effort. I do not speak of the labor of which I am sure thou hast learned from me. I speak only of thy great wealth of verbatim with which thy rebuttal hast taken me aback. My labors have not fallen unprevailed against, but I have assuredly taught thee all that thou knowest... at the very least."

Sister 2: "Thou art speechless, oh beguiling one? Glad I am that thou hast understood my meaning to the fullest. I am lounging upon the floor in great mirth. Thy labors were poor but well thought. Mayhaps we both have taken effort in the wealth of language we both seem to posses. You are indeed well accomplished in the quotation of such words as to perchance slightly baffle this one of great knowledge, upon my honor. As to the labor which I hast learnt from thee it was a menial amount and not of much consequence. Thou has only taught me the use of such technologies as to review such minute things as the spelling of words to aid the smoothness of reading that this one of generous nature writes to such ants as you, who would embarrass oneself in the nature of skating without proper equipment... and as is most likely the case, no accomplice with whom to sufficiently and properly do it. If only one of loving and adequate beauty were there to help in this superior pursuit."

 

I think this was when one of us was at college and the other was at home.... maybe. But at the very least, I hope you are "lounging upon the floor in great mirth."

In uproarious joviality,

Ti-Ti