Maybe it was a homeschooler thing. Maybe it was an "Independent Fundamental Baptist" thing. Maybe it was just the hip "Christian" thing to do. When I turned 16, my parents gave me a purity ring. They never told me what finger to put it on. And they may not have even called it a purity ring. Maybe they just called it a promise ring (More like a "promise to God" ring.) Maybe they just gave us rings when we turned 16 cause it was cool and pretty.... (knowing my parents, though, there was a deeper reason than that....)
I honestly have to use both my hands, take off my shoes, and use my neighbors fingers as well to count the number of times I've been asked how long I've been married, if I just got engaged, or any other combination of those two. I answer honestly, but every time I answer it seems to somewhat scare people away..... as though they feel awkward for assuming that or maybe pity for me...
There was a blog floating around recently about a girl who took off her purity ring. She decided that it was making her wait to live her life. She was pursuing a relationship with Christ only so she would get a guy in the end. (not really where I am but a good read, nonetheless, Gracefortheroad- "I Don't Wait Anymore.")
Being as shy as I am, I tend to do things that help me blend in. Often, I've thought of taking my ring off, or maybe try wearing it on a different finger to avoid the conversation. And sometimes, laugh at me if you will, I've thought that on occasion it has scared several "potentials" away. (Oh, the joys of being a nanny with a ring on. But at least the kids are cute so I take it as a compliment when people think they're mine... "Ma'am, you make beautiful babies." HA!!!) But my reasons for possibly taking it off were nothing similar to what this girl decided.
Last Sunday, we talked about being single and marriage (and a bit of other stuff too). The point that spoke the most to me was the encouragement and discipleship that needs to go both ways- from singles to marrieds, from marrieds to singles. Both of them have their own struggles and insights into life and neither "side" has the "greener grass."
{P.S. free advertisement here- if you want to hear the message -or any of the other messages from my awesome pastor -(yes, he's my brother, no I'm not biased) go here- highplains.org- sermons (this message is "the Gifted- Part 22)}
So here's my thought. Let's understand each other a bit better by getting both sides of this story. Married peoples, what are your thoughts about "purity rings" and singles what do you think about them?
Before you give your insight, let me shed a bit of light on how I view my purity ring. (And honestly, I'm probably not going to take mine off anytime soon, if ever- even if it does produce some awkward times for me. Partly because you'd have to be very convincing toward why I should because I've inherited both my parents stubbornness, partly because it doesn't fit on any other finger, and partly because my finger would look deformed because I've been wearing it so long.) (Whoa, totally felt like Tevye from Fiddler On the Roof there, "on one hand... on the other hand.... on the other hand...") I don't believe this ring is causing me to "wait" to live my life. I've always been a firm believer of living where you are. Like Mike said in the sermon, "wherever you are in life, be all there." (or something similar to that) I don't even really view it as a reminder to avoid "temptation". My view on the purity ring is more broad I guess. Sort of a promise, no that's not the right word, a.... commitment...a.... striving....to put God above my own selfish desires, no matter what those desires are. It's there to remind me that I'm not here for me and me only. Does that even make sense? Where are you on this? What are your thoughts and insights?
(P.S. it was also mentioned that we need to be open and tell others what "hurts" us in our different "relationship statuses". Here's a good read from a singles side of things convergemagazine-"26, unmarried and childless)
Getting both sides of the story,
Ti-Ti
Good thoughts. Here's my first reaction: Promises are broken. I am not capable of being "pure" I am "dirty" "twisted" "profane" So on the one hand I'd avoid making a promise I know I can't keep. However, I made a promise at the altar. A different kind of promise, a covenant. Covenants are based on something higher, something
ReplyDeletebeyond the "promiser" At the altar I didn't promise my wife I'd love her forever I made a covenant with God and her that my love would exist as long as God permitted. So, if you're wearing a ring as a reminder to "be good" I'd say stop, but if that ring says "God can keep my heart" wear it proudly.